You know what is weird? In a professional sense I welcome change. I’m open to procedure changes and I stay positive and try to keep others positive. Why then, in my personal life do I sometimes get so sad about change?
This topic has come up in my head tonight because I was reading a post by The Junkie’s Wife called Zombie Love which was talking about her missing some of the way things used to be. Me, already being down tonight (as seen in this The Write Thought Post called Feelings Suck Sometimes) was brought to tears over this post.
Sometimes I just get a little overwhelmed when I think about how much in my life has changed. I don’t give into thinking about this often because it usually ends up with me feeling sad but tonight…it has gotten the best of me.
I figured the healthiest thing for me to do would be to write about this. Lucky you…you get to read about it.
I just long for the days that used to be so much easier. There was a time when my drug use wasn’t so rampant as it was at the end of my addiction. There was a time when I was younger and more naive about the world. There was a time when there was not one thing in the world that could come between my husband and myself. There was a time when I didn’t feel bad about my body. There was a time…
That’s about all I’m going to allow myself right now on this because I do realize that nothing good will come from these thoughts.
Whatever days I’m pining away for…those days are long gone and I’m probably just remembering all of the good and ignoring the bad anyway.
Change is good right? It leads to new possibilities. I’m changing, you’re changing, it’s just the way things go. Here is to embracing change…hopefully I can truly learn how to do it.