What Winners Do – An Addiction Recovery Blog Stories, Struggles And Success of A Recovering Addict Trying to Do What Winners Do

I Had A Dream About Drug Use

There I was in a grocery store standing in the check out line. I have no idea what I was buying but the person in line in front of me was telling me that she had something to get me high. My mother in-law was the cashier and she was looking at me and smiling. I said “I’m really not supposed to” and I thought to myself oh what the hell, who’s it going to hurt? Right there in the grocery line I took a sip of some stuff that was in a little glass bottle. I was instantly high…on what I have no idea.

I kept telling everyone around me in line that “It’s ok, this doesn’t mean that I’m addicted again”. In my dream that was correct. I could do this and it was ok, nothing bad would come of it.

I woke up actually feeling bad about myself. “It was only a dream” I kept telling myself. I just couldn’t shake the bad feeling. I was actually nervous. It was like when you have a dream about your significant other doing something mean to you or cheating on you and when you wake up you are actually mad at them. You just can’t help it.

But as I woke up a little more and thought about my dream it made me kind of laugh. Why my mother in-law was the cashier I really have no idea. Damn those drug peddlers in the check out line, they get me every time with their fancy glass bottles and their magical elixirs.

What goes on in this addictive thinking brain of mine? It goes to show you that your cravings are always there, even when you’re asleep. When you are asleep you get to indulge in them though.

It just makes me wonder if I am so against using again and I believe that I truly do not want to use why do I dream about it? I don’t really dream of the bad things that go along with using, just the high.

But hey, it was just a dream. Or does it mean something more?

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