Addiction Recovery: Accept The Things I Cannot Change

December 15, 2009 — 2 Comments

There are certain things in life that we cannot change, no matter how badly it is we want to be able to. Just like the Serenity Prayer states, we hope for the serenity to accept the things we can not change.

I usually look at addiction from an addicts point of view, what with being a recovering addict and all. But it seems that I need to change up my role here for a little bit. I have a sibling that is an active addict still in the denial phase. I’m sitting helplessly watching an active addict and sometimes wishing that I could do more.

It’s a pretty tough situation, although I’m sure that there are tons of people out there that have experienced this exact thing. I guess what makes it even worse is having been there myself. I know what it feels like, I know how hopeless you can become and it scares the shit out of me.

If I wasn’t so focused on staying in the day…I could drive myself crazy with worrying about the future. Up until just recently I have been able to go about my own business without giving his problem much thought. I had already made the decision that I would in no way enable his activity by lending him money, etc.

It really sucks because the only time he talks to me is when he is asking me for money. This used to be someone I could sit and talk with for hours on end. It’s just not the case anymore. It’s sad.

I just am afraid that something is going to happen and I’m going to be thinking that I should have done more while I had the chance. But really, what can you do?

I try to think about this as logically as possible having been there before myself. I try and figure out what stage of his addiction he is in, if he is anywhere near his rock bottom, stuff like that. But it’s hard to tell with someone else. Addicts are so good at putting on a facade that in no way reflects what is actually happening on the inside.

I’m just down about this whole thing…but I just gotta accept the things I cannot change. If I’ve learned anything in recovery it is that.

2 responses to Addiction Recovery: Accept The Things I Cannot Change

  1. I had a problem with alcohol, using to self medicate in the end it backfires on us and makes us more of what we did not want to be. Today many years later and many years away from alcohol still have problems accepting thing that suck that I cannot changed. Right now my dog who I love more than most people would understand is showing signs of old age and decreptiness and it is very hard to just say to myself well nothing I can do so I will just have to accept it. One thing I learned and learned well is words and talk are very cheap, saying and doing are worlds apart and it is not so easy to really do the things we say we need to do. I cannot even offer how it can be done, but if we want to have some peace I suppose we need to learn it and do it no matter how long it takes, or we will never have any peace.

  2. thanks for the post.
    Accepting things we cannot change is difficult, but only because most of us have been in denial for so many years and been trying to manipulate others to get what we want. Sobriety is a great gift you can show your brother, and when the day comes when he needs help, I am sure you’ll be there.

    That’s all you can do.

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