Archives For addiction story

Breaking Up with My Addiction

September 8, 2011 — 2 Comments

Sponsors tell you that writing things down helps, to journal the fight against addiction, having a record, getting things off your chest;  this is another twist to doing that and I must say I like it.

Actor Colin Farrell has said that he has given up cigarettes but here is the interesting part: he wrote a break up letter to tobacco on the last day he would smoke.

I like it. Maybe this would be a fruitful exercise. Having journals of my addiction recovery has served to help me keep it together sometimes when I can see the signs of the spiral; isolation, negative thoughts etc. There have been times when I look back at my journals and I can see clearly step by step what happened whenever I had a relapse or even how I saw it coming and avoided falling into old destructive behaviors.

Because I am living on the upside, happy go lucky side of things,  I decided I would write a humorous short poem to say I am done with you. (I am not a good poet so feel free to laugh at me, I am!)

Good bye Drugs and Alternate Reality

You reached for me, I reached for you,

you promised fullness but left me dull,

there is nothing here for you anymore,

I quit, I am done, It’s no more fun.

Don’t want to think of what you have done.

I am going far and won’t come close

to the likes of you,

no more, no more.

I am a fan of  Jane Lynch who plays Sue Sylvester in Glee. I get her dry stick it to you humor. My first Jane Lynch laugh attack was when she appeared in an episode of “My Name Is Earl” way back in 2008. She abducted Earl’s grown up idiot brother with naughty intentions.

Jane is a recovering alcoholic. In her new memoir titled Happy Accidents to be released September 13 of this year, she says she used Nyquil to help relieve her addiction to beer. She also says she would eat a gallon of chocolate ice cream every day to offset the sugar she was now missing from beer.

It sounds like she is no longer dependent on any mood enhancing substances and I really hope she is sticking to her recovery. She is enjoying so much success right now and hopefully she doesn’t let the pressure of it all push her back into abusing.

I don’t know why but I am always surprised to learn about someone’s challenge with drugs and alcohol when it is someone I admire. Like Lynch, she is funny, pretty, and talented and seems to have this down to earth quality. I shouldn’t be surprised though; we are all human and we all make good choices and bad.

The sad and mysterious circumstances surrounding the death of Amy Winehouse have left me baffled. The unfortunate truth is that either account is believable. Her family says it was alcohol withdrawal.

A drug dealer has come forward saying that he arranged for Amy to buy some drugs from another drug dealer referred to as “Mr. Big”. He says she purchased 1/2 oz. crack and a 1/2 oz. heroin.

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I already explained a little bit in my story that after I was released from my in-patient stay in a lock down psychiatric ward to detox, I attended an out-patient program. The out-patient program taught me one of the fundamentals of addiction recovery…stay in the day.
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When we were in active addiction we couldn’t see ourselves for what we were until the very end when we finally surrendered and asked for help.

No matter what others would tell us about how we looked or acted we somehow rationalized it as them having a problem… not us.

Having an active addict in your family forces you to look close up at addiction but through an outside view. For this recovering addict, watching an active addict is torture. Continue Reading…

Amy Winehouse At The Grammys

February 10, 2010 — 3 Comments

Amy Winehouse performed at the Grammys via satellite from London last night in her first televised performance since entering into rehab last month.

“Yes I’ve been black but when I come back you’ll know, know, know”. I guess those Amy Winehouse lyrics from her song Rehab still ring true…even if she did end up saying yes to rehab.

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