I think that although I appear to be very easy going I am actually much harder on myself than what is needed. I feel that every so often I lose sight of the fact that to have imperfections is to be human.
Sure, I can tell you that you should ease up on yourself because after all… you’re just a person and as we all know, no one is perfect. So why is it that when I see myself slip up here and there (not in my sobriety.. just everyday kind of things) that I right away jump to the fact that I must be backsliding into my old ways?
Why am I not easier and more understanding with myself?
I guess at this stage of my recovery I feel that being very rigid with myself about certain things is the only way that I will make it.
I feel that I cannot trust myself to just get done what needs to get done without being on a strict schedule or living by certain rules because in the past… that never worked.
I’m afraid of slipping back to that place where I am so lax with myself that I choose the easy way out of every single situation I’m faced with no matter how it affects others or how it makes me look. That of course left me feeling bad and you know what happens when I feel bad on a consistent basis right?