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Happy Fourth of July to everyone. I hope you have fun gathering with friends and family to celebrate our countries independence. Maybe catch a parade, have a cookout and wrap the day up with some fireworks. What could be better than that?

Last year’s Fourth of July was a pretty difficult time for me. Being 6 months into my recovery, I was still filled with a lot of uncontrollable emotions that had been ignored for so long. I kind of had an emotionally draining day which left me looking for something… anything to make it stop. I guess that’s why I popped a pill. Read the rest of this entry »

Back in the old days I would take on a commitment of some sort whether it be with school, work or social and then I would no doubt fall short of what I commited to do because I would talk myself out of it.

Maybe it was going to interfere with me being messed up. Maybe it  was because I got messed up the night before and couldn’t drag my lazy ass out of bed. There were many reasons that all had the same conclusion… I never finished anything I started.

This is why still now, a year and a half into my recovery, I am pleasantly surprised when I actually finish something I started. Let me tell you about my latest start to finish. Read the rest of this entry »

My absolute favorite comedian, George Carlin, passed away yesterday at the age of 71. I just wanted to acknowledge his passing and say that he will be missed.

George was a brilliant comedian with a passion for language that shined through in his act. For those that didn’t pay close attention to him, they may have thought of him as just a filthy minded comedian who used vulgar language for shock value. They would be wrong.

George Carlin had such an honest view of human beings (including himself) that everything he said resonated with his viewers. He knew exactly how to use human language to convey his ideas to us perfectly.

To quote the great George Carlin from his 1984 Carlin on Campus HBO special:

“Rat shit

Bat shit

Dirty old twat

69 assholes tied in a knot

Hoooooray

Lizard shit

Fuck!”

It seems that George Carlin was battling with recovery for most of his adult life. You would hear the announcement here and there that he had entered into rehab for this or for that. The most recent being a prescription pill addiction.

I guess that’s just another reason why I felt so connected to this guy. He knew real life and wasn’t afraid to talk about it openly, honestly, and in a funny way.

I really am saddened by his passing.

I think that although I appear to be very easy going I am actually much harder on myself than what is needed. I feel that every so often I lose sight of the fact that to have imperfections is to be human.

Sure, I can tell you that you should ease up on yourself because after all… you’re just a person and as we all know, no one is perfect. So why is it that when I see myself slip up here and there (not in my sobriety.. just everyday kind of things) that I right away jump to the fact that I must be backsliding into my old ways?

Why am I not easier and more understanding with myself? Read the rest of this entry »

So it has been 1 year, 5 months and some change since I entered into addiction recovery. I have overcome a lot of my bad behaviors and addictive thinking patterns but there is one huge behavior that I am having trouble shaking… isolating.

We all know that active addiction and isolation are old chums and that they fit together so well. One directly feeds off of the other and eventually take over your whole being leaving you with… addiction and isolation.

Well I guess I am living proof that just because you take away one, it doesn’t mean that the other will follow. It seems that isolation will hang out until you actively push it out of your life. So how do you go about avoiding isolation in addiction recovery? Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve all seen the poster of the kitty hanging off the tree limb with the caption “Hang In There Baby”. But who would have thought that this little blurb could be the foundation of a healthy spiritual life?

We all have both highs and lows as our life sort of ebbs and flows through time. I guess what I’m realizing is that I need to make the most  out of the highs in life so that when the lows come I am better prepared to hang in there. Read the rest of this entry »

I think that sometimes we lose sight of what this holiday is really about. I just wanted to take a moment to thank all those that have served in our military.

Thank you

Weird question I guess but in my opinion there is nothing more important to someone’s recovery than being self aware.

Think of how it used to be. You went through life numbing out every inkling of self awareness so that you wouldn’t have to face your true thoughts and feelings.

I think that overcoming that need to block out your true thoughts and feelings sums up what recovery is all about. So with that said… are you self aware? Read the rest of this entry »

I truly can’t believe it but it’s already time for Mother’s Day again. The year has gone by so quickly but it has also brought so many changes.

Last year my Happy Mother’s Day post was about my own mother and the importance of a mother’s support and understanding for her child in their recovery.

This year I wanted to talk about how much my own role of a mother has improved now that I am further into my addiction recovery. Read the rest of this entry »

In recovery there is a great saying “Easy Does It But Do It”. I always understood what this saying meant but I never really applied it to my life.

I was living under the assumption that things always have a way of working themselves out. Which is true… if you do your part.

Since we work on our ability to accept the things we cannot change we should surer than shit be working on the other part to that which is having the courage to change the things we can. Read the rest of this entry »