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You know what is weird? In a professional sense I welcome change. I’m open to procedure changes and I stay positive and try to keep others positive. Why then, in my personal life do I sometimes get so sad about change?

This topic has come up in my head tonight because I was reading a post by The Junkie’s Wife called Zombie Love which was talking about her missing some of the way things used to be. Me, already being down tonight (as seen in this The Write Thought Post called Feelings Suck Sometimes) was brought to tears over this post.

Sometimes I just get a little overwhelmed when I think about how much in my life has changed. I don’t give into thinking about this often because it usually ends up with me feeling sad but tonight…it has gotten the best of me.

I figured the healthiest thing for me to do would be to write about this. Lucky you…you get to read about it. Read the rest of this entry »

Valentine’s Day is a day made for love.

Take a moment today and think about all of the people in your life that you love.

It doesn’t matter if they are here or passed…take a moment and think about them today.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all those that I love…including myself.

Just like life it’s self, addiction recovery is filled with times of struggle and times of uncertainty. But also like like it’s self, it is made up of way more than that. For every bad time there is a good time.

For me, this is one of those times when I’m not struggling in my addiction recovery. At the moment, things seem to have fallen into place.

The only thing that I’m having a hard time with right now is practicing what I preach about being able to stay in the moment. Enjoy the good times without waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s pretty difficult to realize that you don’t know how to deal with even the good times in life. Read the rest of this entry »

I was recently tagged by bottlecappie over at Diary Of A Quitter to participate in the Favorite Five meme.

Let me just say that I get nervous when I get tagged for things like this. I appreciate it, I really do, but I start to get nervous about who I’m going to tag. Do I even know 5 people? But I’ll give it a shot anyway. Read the rest of this entry »

The Write Thought was going through somewhat of a lull but I am pleased to announce that thanks to the addition of some new writers over the past couple of months (along with it’s already great writers) we seem to be recovering (pun intended).

Since October when the moderator torch was passed to me, I have felt a sense of responsibility in getting this site back to what it once was. That is why with the addition of some new writers, I’m hoping that we can once again get that community feel back to The Write Thought.

For any of you not familiar with The Write Thought, it is best explained as a place for those in and out of recovery as well as those people with addicts in their lives that they are trying to love and understand. If you fit into one of these categories…The Write Thought is the place for you.

Ultimately in order for someone to have success in addiction recovery they need to have a sense of accountability towards themselves. With that said, it’s also beneficial to feel accountability towards someone/something outside of yourself.

In very early recovery just being accountable to ourselves doesn’t always work out very well. We are usually still plagued with addictive thinking. That is why learning self accountability through being held accountable to sources outside of ourself is so important in addiction recovery. Read the rest of this entry »

Do you remember what it was like when you were a newcomer to addiction recovery? If you were anything like me, you pursued recovery. You went after it, you studied it and you spent a lot of time building up your addiction recovery fundamental skills.

As time goes on, you feel a little more comfortable in your addiction recovery. You feel that you can take on some new things that aren’t directly related to addiction recovery. You have begun to develop some of your life and coping skills and maybe the fire that you had in your belly when you first entered into addiction recovery has dwindled a little.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Is this just a way of tricking yourself into thinking you don’t need to put as much work into your addiction recovery as you once did or are you now truly benefiting from all of the initial hard work that you did put into your recovery? Read the rest of this entry »

I could start off by listing all of my New Year resolutions but…I don’t make New Year resolutions. Just as I don’t think you have to wait until a Monday to start a new diet you don’t have to wait until the beginning of the year to make resolutions.

With that said, I can’t help but get a sense of excitement around the beginning of a new year. I was thinking about where I was at last year around this time. Even though I was just about at rock bottom with my Oxycontin addiction I was somehow still hopeful.

I remember telling myself that 2007 would be my year. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had just had so many bad years in a row that 2007 just had to be an improvement. Even though it started out kind of rocky with the whole “going to rehab” situation, I can say that 2007 was one of the best years in my life. Read the rest of this entry »

Just like most of us, my actively addicted self does not share much in common with my living clean self. It usually takes special occasions like the nearly here Christmas for me to realize just how much of a positive change there has been in myself.

My “birthday” or “anniversary” whichever you would like to call it is at the end of January. This means that last Christmas was one of the most dire times in my life. I still had not hit my bottom around Christmas time last year but let me tell you, I was hovering just above it.

I guess that it why this Holiday season has been so special for me. Long gone are the days when any sort of responsibility was too much for me to handle. Long gone are the days when making a plan and sticking to it was out of the question. Long gone are the days of wasting my money on drugs leaving me scrambling at the last minute for funds to be able to buy people’s Christmas gifts…not to mention how hard it was to actually give my money to a cashier knowing I could be using the money to get high. Read the rest of this entry »

I had previously written a few posts venting about having to sit back and helplessly watch an addict in the throes of addiction. This post happened to be about watching my own brother in active Oxycontin addiction.

His situation was getting pretty bad back in the beginning of November and I was having a hard time with this. I finally listened…really listened, and took the age old advice to accept the things I cannot change.

It is with a huge sigh of relief that I tell you I finally got the phone call from him in which he is ready to surrender himself to the fact that he has absolutely no control over his life right now. He had a break in the denial and his brain was able to have the clarity to realize that he needed help…he could not get better on his own. Read the rest of this entry »