What Winners Do - An Addiction Recovery Blog » narcotics anonymous/alcoholics anonymous

Hey Look at My Narcotics Anonymous Key Tag, I’m a Drug Addict

Erin — Sun, 30 May 2010 02:14:13 +0000

Anyone who has gone to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting knows that just as they do in Alcoholics Anonymous they celebrate lengths of sobriety. There is just one difference. Instead of giving you a nice little chip that you can keep in a private place and be proud of like you get in Alcoholics Anonymous, you get a key tag. A florescent colored, sometimes glow in the dark, hey look over here, key tag.

Am I the only one that thinks this is a little strange? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everyone acknowledging that I have been clean from any mood altering substances for a certain amount of time. It's a great idea. I just don't see anyone actually using this to hold their keys on. Do you?

I just think it's funny. Out of everything that they could have picked they chose an item that would be out in the public eye a lot of the time. I know, I can hear it already, "What would you have picked instead Mrs. Know it all?".

Let me think here for a moment. Bottle opener? No, that's not a good idea, kind of sends the wrong message. Umm...I know a little vanity mirror! No, no that could be used as drug paraphernalia (you former coke users out there know where I'm going with that one). Wow, this is harder than I thought. Ok, ok. I give up. I can't think of anything better than the key tag.

Hey no one ever told me I had to put my keys on it anyway. I guess I'll just collect them like I do the chips. That is my favorite part of the meeting. Everyone really gets into it and applauds other people for their hard work and their success. Even though I'm just getting a plastic key tag I feel like I'm accepting an award. Hey, maybe they really do know what they are doing at these meetings huh?

Attending Narcotics Anonymous Meetings?

Erin — Sun, 16 May 2010 22:19:03 +0000

The answer to that is no. I have not been going to any Narcotics Anonymous meetings. I know, I know...it's bad. I have been successfully talking myself out it. I can be very persuasive when I want to be. So where does this leave me?

In terms of using, I'm not and don't want to. So that's good. In terms of isolating? I think I am. Of course I communicate with other addicts on line and I share my stories that way but as for face to face contact with people, I don't have much.

I'm feeling a little lonely lately as a result. All of the people that I used to hang out with still drink and do whatever so it's not like I can really hang out with them much. I basically have not made any real friends that are sober. I have people that I'm friendly with at the usual Narcotics Anonymous meeting that I was going to. But that's about the extent of it. Of course I have my husband and that is great. But a girl needs at least one friend too.

I guess I need to get back into the swing of things when it comes to going to meetings. It's like when you go to the gym all the time you can't stop going because if you miss a few days in a row...forget about it. To get yourself to go back is pretty hard. I'm not saying it's impossible and I know I have to do it. It is just taking that first step that is hard.

I'm going to find a Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous meeting to go to tonight. No exceptions, no talking myself out of it. I think the more I talk myself out of it the more it shows I truly need to go. Funny how that works. That is as far as I'm going to let myself think about it. I just need to find one, and leave the house to go to it. Once I'm there I do the usual internal debate with myself about sharing. What it all really comes down to is forcing myself to just raise my hand. Once I get talking I'm fine. After I'm done talking I'm great.

So it has all come down to this question. Am I willing to do what the winners do? The answer is yes. I will get myself to go to a meeting and once I'm there I will share some of the things that I've allowed to keep my from going to meetings. I will also allow myself to identify with other people who are sharing their stories. This is what the winners do.

Just Raise Your Hand

Erin — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 17:21:54 +0000

Everyone needs to talk about their problems with someone. If they don't they are going to suffer from it. Since you are an addict, you will probably start using again. The thing is, you would rather talk to someone that really understands where you are coming from. What better place to do that than at a Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholic Anonymous meeting?

Just raise your hand. It's what I do at a meeting to get myself to talk. I don't think about speaking perfectly, having an exciting story or what people will be thinking about when I am speaking. I Just raise my hand and when I'm called on... speak.

Just think of it this way, the main reason you are there is to hear other people speak and to be able to identify yourself with their story or their problems. That is exactly why others are there too. They need you to speak. They need you to share your story with them. Your story is part of their recovery.

Sounds simple right? Wrong. Do you know how many times in one meeting I flip flop about whether or not I'm going to speak. I can't even keep track it's so many. Ultimately I'm there to share but something in my head says, no you don't need to or what you have to say is kind of stupid, your problems aren't as bad as other people's. It's craziness, it really is.

Just raising my hand is something that I am still working on. It's getting easier and easier for myself and it will for you too if you can just get yourself to do it.