Just try and tell me that you haven’t had that thought before…anyone, no one, ok then. Good, it’s not just me. Our minds are so f’d up with addictive thinking that we actually try and fool ourselves into believing the thought that possibly we weren’t as bad as we made out to be. We must have over reacted because we went today without drinking and it wasn’t too hard.
From what I have heard and what I have read this is a very common thought in recovery. What is kind of funny is that this very thought proves that you and I are true addicts. With all that we had to go through to be where we are today to be able to even entertain the idea that we really don’t have a problem is insane.
This insanity is all a part of our addictive thinking. It is this thought process that is our real obstacle, more so than using the actual substance. Addictive thinking is what we are trying to recover from. Since we went through the detox we already recovered from the particular drug or the alcohol that we were using at the time. I think this is the part that most people just don’t understand that well.
We have to keep these thoughts in check. When I have one of these type of addictive thoughts I can identify it as being a crock of shit. I actually get a chuckle at myself. It’s like my brain is trying to get one over on me. It’s just bazaar. But for now it is something that I have to accept and be on the lookout for to avoid relapse.
More outrageous thoughts to come…stayed tuned.