In Every Life There Is A Little Self Doubt… Right?

April 16, 2010 — 11 Comments

I’ve talked before about my need for a routine. It seems that when I let my routine slide a little… I fall apart.

This past week my husband was on vacation and we really had a great time going on day trips here and there. All of this fun had me away from my house and more importantly away from my routine. Excellent right? Then why is it that I feel like I’ve come undone?

In the post I did about identifying the difference between backsliding and human imperfection I touched on the fact that I give my self a very hard time when I feel that I’m not doing the best that I could be doing. I guess I’m just a little unforgiving with myself.

Yesterday I tried very hard to get back into the “normal” routine swing of things and it was difficult. Sure, I got some things done that needed to be done but didn’t get to everything that I thought I could accomplish. If it were anyone else I would say “Big effing deal… there is always tomorrow”. Me? I say “Uh oh, what is this, don’t let yourself get back to your old ways. Why are you taking a break? You really didn’t do enough work so far to merit a break. The house looks pretty gross and you are taking a break? You’re kind of lazy.”

This kind of thinking opens up the flood gates and lets all sorts of negative self talk sneak right in. I then start to pick myself apart. “I’m too fat, I’m too lazy, I could really be better at getting my child on a schedule, I fool myself into thinking I’m doing better than I really am. Just forget about your idea to turn your interest in children’s face painting into a body art business… you’re not good enough and you’re business sense sucks.”

Those are just the things I feel comfortable putting out there for others to read so you can use your imagination on the really negative stuff.

Why do I allow myself to do this? I don’t fully understand where all of this negativity comes from. I could go on and on about when I was a child I was never really encouraged to have goals or follow through with anything but honestly… I’m 30 (ok 31 on the 17th of this month) isn’t it time to get over my childhood already?

I guess all I can do is try to deal with these things as they come up. When I start to lose confidence in myself I need to take a step back and try to see that I’m just having a moment of self doubt. This is normal and it will pass. I just need to keep pushing through.

I think I know the answer to this question but, does everyone have these moments? If so, how do you keep from giving in to this type of thinking? Do you just let it pass and then get back to your forward momentum? I’m just looking for better ways to deal with this using other people’s experience.

11 responses to In Every Life There Is A Little Self Doubt… Right?

  1. Coline Bettson July 8, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    We share a birthday !

    Saw some lovely body art once – will look for the link & send it to you.

    Does your description of negative self talk make you feel like getting high ?

    If so, quick – change the channel – do something outdoors / have a warm tub/ a nap/ watch a film.

    We all share both – & + but, drunks / addicts simply act on the –

    sleep night, tonight honey.

  2. Coline Bettson July 8, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    Here is one I remember :

    fractalenlightenment.blogspot.com

    just put “beautiful body art” into google images to see tons…then, try yourself !

    Coline

  3. Hey Coline

    Well, happy early birthday girlie. My negative self talk doesn’t automatically have me wanting to get high anymore. It definitely did at one time so I guess there is some improvement there right? Thanks for making me see that.

  4. “how do you keep from giving in to this type of thinking?”

    When you realize what’s going on, like you did, you laugh it off and try again tomorrow. You can’t hit a home run every time. No matter what else happens if you don’t drink you still get an “A” for the day.

    Now if I can just take my own advice maybe I won’t feel like I’m about to fly off in a thousand different directions.

  5. Greybeard… thanks. That’s pretty much how my situation played out. I hung in there, told myself that I was just having one of those days and I got right back to it the next day.

  6. greybeard u r my mentor such great research u have done that is so helpful to others everyne else too. thank tnank you thank you

  7. I hear ya Raj. But just so there’s no disappointments… there is no “perfect recovery”. I think baggage is with us for a while until we just naturally work it out or let it go.

    Just as an update. I did just ride out my negative self talk and have almost completed my site for Body Art by Erin. My gallery pics aren’t up as of right now but all the other pages are done http://www.bodyartbyerin.com

  8. self doubt and negative thinking can be so painful and suffocating as you showed and I guess the best thing to do with this kind of automatic thinking in your head is to hang in there and counter it with positive thoughts just like you do … by-the-way the second guessing and loosing confidence in everything yours like your thoughts, ability etc etc is for me the most frustrating of the long term side effects post addiction I guess it’s the same for many people …

    during my 3-4 year period lived clean after my first bout with drugs in late adolescence (clean from drugs at least if not from drinking. I was also living without any knowledge of the concepts of addiction as a disease or the 12 step programs) was clean for a period of 3-4 years after my 1st bout with drugs,, I was always always second guessing myself and I had so much guilt for being a drug addict and I’d blame so much on my using drugs later I discovered it was PAWs’ for the first 6-8 months at least but the second guessing never really completely left me and I hated it … that is why this time I want the perfect recovery done the right way so that I have no long term baggage …

  9. Hi Erin,
    I checked out your website and it really does look fantastic, here’s some good feedback for you absolutely free of charge 🙂

    As for the design of the website I think the site looks fantastic and the navigation menus are great as well, I like how you are displaying all of pages and sub pages on the right sidebar to quickly take your visitor to what he/she might be looking for.

    The listing and availability of all of the different choices of events and types of paint jobs also is fantastic I like how you are giving a variety of different ideas, suggestions and choices to guide your visitor in choosing what he/she should go for. I only got my face painted a couple of times going to sports events one was this Cricket match,
    (I am not sure if you know about Cricket, it’s a sport that the British gave us when we were one of its colonies and it’s the most popular sport here now, it’s very pop in some other countries like Australia, New Zealand and even England also )
    where I was cheering for my country India and had it’s flag painted on my face. And the next time was when I attended a Formula1 race where I got a Ferrari flag painted across my face.

    But I had not never even heard of the kind of event/party where the kids/teens and even adults could get face paints or tattoos but now that I have I think it could be so much fun! I really felt like hiring your services for any birthday or any other kind of party we had the next time, [it’s such a damn pity that I don’t live in Massachusetts, USA though ;)] anyway I think anybody who stumbles across your site will also feel the same way.

    I’d have to loved to see the designs you are offering and I will check back on your gallery section some other time. Its just that I love to give all the feedback that I can and I hope it’s useful to you. So, now that your new business is all but under way, best of luck with it, I hope you make it really big in this and you eventually be the best or at least one of the best in the business in all of your city if not the entire state or country…

    (there’s just one question I wanted to ask about the website in particular: are you using wordpress for this site as well or have you gone for the classic FTP website? I saw an Rss feed and a blog at yourwebsite.com/blog and thought whether it’s wordpress, just wanted to know how good is wordpress for a traditional kind of website if it is indeed wordpress)

  10. Raj – Thank you so much for all the feedback. You can’t imagine how much I appreciate it.

    I actually am using wordpress and it seems to be working out great. I eventually want to be able to post some related articles on there about techniques that I’ve learned and stuff of that nature. I’ll keep the static homepage and have the blog as an option in the navigation bar. I’m pretty excited about it.

    As for the gallery… it’s up and running now if you want to check it out. Again I honestly appreciate you telling me what you think about the site. Thanks

  11. Thank you

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