Archives For early recovery

Just try and tell me that you haven’t had that thought before…anyone, no one, ok then. Good, it’s not just me. Our minds are so f’d up with addictive thinking that we actually try and fool ourselves into believing the thought that possibly we weren’t as bad as we made out to be. We must have over reacted because we went today without drinking and it wasn’t too hard.

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Who is My Higher Power

March 29, 2010 — 11 Comments

If you have read anything about narcotics anonymous/alcoholics anonymous or if you have attended their meetings then you have heard of a “higher power”. To some this is God. But what is someone who isn’t really into god supposed to do.
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Was it hard for you to admit that you were a drug addict or alcoholic? It wasn’t very hard for me to admit it to myself. That part actually came pretty easy. It was saying it out loud to another person that I found difficult.
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Why Do You Tempt Me?

March 17, 2010 — 4 Comments

This will just be a quick one but I was just looking on an addiction message board. I like to check out other sites and see what people are doing, what kind of questions are being asked and just to read some stuff from some people that are in the same boat as myself.
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If you are very early in your recovery from drugs or alcohol you were probably given the advice to keep a journal. I know, I know, I felt exactly the same way. It just sounds pretty lame. Plus addicts are not the type of people that want to have any permanent record of the weird and deviate thoughts that go on in our addict brains. When I was told to keep a journal I pictured myself laying stomach down on my bed with my legs bent up at the knees, crossed at the ankles and swinging back and forth while I write: Dear Diary…
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Let me start out by saying that I am a huge fan of Amy Winehouse’s music. I absolutely love her style and feel that in the world of today’s music, it is very unique.

What is not unique is Amy Winehouse’s addiction problems. She has been on a downward spiral for a long time which included an attempt to enter a rehab facility in August of 2007. That attempt at recovery lasted about three days and obviously had no lasting effect. So will January 24th’s check in to rehab be any different than the last? Continue Reading…

Where I Am NowJanuary 26th will be my one year anniversary of being in recovery. As far as I’m concerned, this has been the best year of my life. Sure, it wasn’t the funnest, the easiest, or the most peaceful year. But as far as my well being is concerned, this has been my most productive year ever.

My first year in addiction recovery has been filled with many ups and downs, many ebbs and flows, many steps forward…and a couple of steps back. What is the most important thing I’ve learned? Stumble don’t fall. Continue Reading…

Other than writing my thoughts and rants on this site I really haven’t been making that much effort lately to share with people. I decided that I would join some online addiction related groups. I joined Yahoo Groups and I can’t believe I’m about to say this but I love it!
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One of my huge problems has always been that when I lay down to try and go to sleep…I think and think and think. Thoughts pop into my head about certain things I should have done, things I’m supposed to do, things I have no business worrying about but can’t help it. If you read my story you can see that this seems to be a big part of my drug use.
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Think about all of the isolating that we did in active addiction. Is it any wonder that a lot of us experience a sense of loneliness in addiction recovery?

Because in addiction you have distanced yourself from a lot of the positive people in your life and have instead chosen to surround yourself with people who have the same addictive qualities as yourself, once you enter into recovery and have cut ties with the “wrong type of people” you may be left with the feeling of loneliness. Continue Reading…