I am getting used to this idea that there is a spirit inside me and outside me. I am sensing that there is something great out there; I have begun to examine my spirituality. Regardless of how I have lived my life it has seen me through it and has not left me. Although I grew up Catholic and going to church I never knew God on my own.
Whenever I read the Bible in the past I felt like an idiot because I didn’t understand anything in it. I had some hurdles to get over before I could pick it up again. Surprisingly enough I am enjoying it and even learning some from it. It helps that I bought a Student Bible…I don’t care if I am forty-ish…If I can’t understand it, I am not going to read it, and this one I can understand! Anyway, I read mostly psalms.
Here is a verse I found recently that really resonated with my heart, and my experience of addiction recovery:
Psalm 94:18-19
When I said, “My foot is slipping,†your unfailing love, LORD, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.
I could relate to the speaker feeling like whoa! I almost went down again, that was a slippery step, I can relate to that weird coincidental save that distracted me, or took me away from the situation. Anxiety and I go way back and when I feel that pressure, I want to be consoled, understood, cheered, that is totally what I want, please somebody make me laugh! This has affected my spirituality and recovery by helping me grow.
As I had mentioned before, I gave up reading real life crime mystery books because I knew they were not good for me, I feel the opposite with this. This is a book that is encouraging me and lifting me. It is steering me to practice more positive thoughts and outlooks in my life.
Anyway, I am dipping my toes in the water and thus far it feels fine…
Steve (7)
SDWright (5)
Johann Smith (2)
ash (1)
Brandy (1)
Danielle (1)
Gary (1)
Jane (1)
Jean (1)
Jeanne (1)
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Erin. I just found your site a few days ago. I found God a few years ago and I know that he lead me to this site. I am so happy and thankful that there are saints out there like yourself, praising God and giving Him the glory due to Him. I had been struggling with anxiety for decades. Then eventually I ended up on anti-depression meds. Cymbalta has been the one killer that I couldn’t come off. When I was on it, I felt horrible. When I didn’t take it I felt even worse. But I kept praying for God to free me from this demon. Then another believer whom I work with told me about praying/pleading for healing through the Blood of Jesus. I did this for my father who is an alcoholic, touching him as I prayed for him. The following day, both he and I noticed that he had no desire to drink any sort of liquor or beer. So then I knew that there was something to this. I prayed that God would heal me from the power of these drugs. This was 2 months ago. God heard my prayer and answered me. I had tried atleast 2 or 3 times to come off of cymbalta in the last 2 and a half years, but it is only now through the power of Christ and His Blood which he shed for me that i am now completely free of drugs. The recovery has been bumpy, but God has been there every step of the way sending the right people at the right moments (in some very unbelievable ways) to give me the help and support I need to be free of drugs. And you are one of them. May God bless you as you continue in your walk with Him. He is ALWAYS there. I know that it is at those times when I can’t feel Him or hear him next to me, it’s because He’s so busy DOING for me. May the Almighty bless you Erin.
Wow Del, the first thing I must say to you is a big Thank You. Thank you for sharing your very personal experience of recovery and freedom; you have been a witness to me of the power of God, as I grow in faith. What I feel most is excitement and happiness at reading your comment. I am amazed at what God has done for you and your faith.
Erin i know you didnt post that comment on here. I think someone is falsely using your face and name. So fucking imposter trying to rake the benefits of you face. I guess they must miss you or something. Fucking hacks. I tell ya.
I understand today that the 12 Steps is a practical way to a faith THAT WORKS.
I was entirely lost and now can function helping others around me, from a desperate position God used my weakness to assist others. I used to think i was a human being trying to ‘get’ spiritual, no I know that I’m a spiritual being having a human experience.
Erin
Thanks for sharing that scripture. As someone who just had a one-time relapse that I definitely don’t want to repeat, I’m going to use it as a prayer. When I feel my feet slipping, I know that God’s unfailing love will support me and stop me from falling if I turn to Him instead of letting myself slide all the way back down again.