So I have accepted the fact that we will never truly understand what life is all about. But does that mean that I will never understand my own life’s purpose?
I don’t believe that. I feel like all of your life is building up to something and when it all comes together… you find your life’s purpose.
But what do you do until then? What do you do with the question: “what am I doing here?”
Sometimes I take a look at the many, many roles I have played in my 30 years on earth. I try to connect the dots and find what all of these various situations would have to do with one another and what things from each experience could be meshed together to make something else.
So far… nothing. I can’t seem to figure it out yet. So I feel a little lost at the moment. I can’t shake this feeling that there is something that I’m supposed to be doing. Something greater than what I am doing at the moment.
Then again, other times I feel like my job in life at this point is to raise my child the best that I can with the least distractions as possible.
I know, I know… all I should concern myself with really is the present time and not worry about what I’ll be doing with myself in the future. But you know, sometimes you just can’t help it right?
I guess I get kind of nervous that because I’m a stay at home mom and my main goal of taking care of my child and husband will end one day that I’ll be left with not much else. Grimm thought I know. But it is something I fear.
What is really weird is that from the time I was little I never really wanted to be anything. You know what I mean? Someone asks a younger person “what do you want to be when you get older?” and I would say “I don’t know”. That answer has never really changed for me.
So I walk around feeling like I’m meant to do something… I just haven’t figured out what that is yet. I pay attention to coincidences that I notice in life and I try to use them as indicators of what direction I’m supposed to be taking.
I believe that the “luckiest” people on earth are the ones that pay attention to life’s coincidences. Kind of explains the type of people that are always in the right place at the right time. I guess they are just paying attention to the natural flow and not fighting it. I WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!!
No related posts.
Nic (7)
Heather (4)
Dave Duncan (3)
don (2)
Susan M (2)
Tracy (2)
Cera (1)
denise (1)
gita (1)
KAY (1)
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
DH and I just had our last child move out of the house. I couldn’t be happier for him (or me!)
A parent’s job is to make sure their children can eventually stand on their own two feet. We do this one day at a time by giving them the tools they’ll need to be successful.
At a meeting a while back, I heard something that really resonated with me. We need to DEMONSTRATE the principles of our 12-Step program to those we meet-that includes our family members. I carry this reminder in my wallet, so I look at it on a regular basis. It really helps to guide my actions.
You know what’s funny? Just after writing this post about trying to find my life’s purpose I was asked to volunteer my artistic ability in the form of children’s face painting for an upcoming local event. I agreed.
I realized just how much I love this type of thing and I’ve been so excited. I guess this is one more role to to add to the list: Children’s Face Painter
Erin, you are doing something important with your writing too, and you should give yourself credit for that.
Maybe some people have one great purpose in life, like they always knew they wanted to be a doctor or whatever. But I think some of us, our purpose is to find ourselves and in the process we send out ripples that help wake up the people around us. I see you doing that with this blog, and the Suboxone Help Spot – and I’d bet that you’re doing it all the time in other parts of your life.
Seeking one’s purpose is a purpose, right?
I was really impressed with your vision and how you stated it. I also believe that my purpose in each day is continuing toward enlightnment. Maybe my only purpose is to be an example to the still suffering addict and maybe save one person’s life along the way or bring just one person comfort when they need it most.
You always come in at just the right moment bottlecappie. Sometimes I feel lost and you say but look at what you did here and there and I say… oh ya, I didn’t think of that. Thank you.
I had stated in a comment above about volunteering as a face painter… I’m loving it. I have been practicing all week and even as we speak I am sitting here with a butterfly painted on my face. Silly? Yes. Do I love it? You betcha.
My son has his face done up as a pirate right now. What’s funner than having a mother that needs to use you as a guinea pig for her face painting?
Depending on how this whole thing goes on Saturday and Sunday, I’m going to look into how I could make a little cash while painting faces. Imagine having a job that makes people smile all the time? That would be great.
This is why i love movies and the well placed signs and coincidences which subtly direct the movie subject in the direction of hardship but ultimately prosperity. I wish my life could be like that. On the other hand, I think a lot of people go a little crazy over this though because they are so desperate for that meaning/purpose they start to make things up and force the issue. Not to bring religion in to this but this is why god is not good for me. I am too starved for a purpose as it is and i am scared that i would take a “sign” too literally and externalize my meaning in life too much. I wish i could explain this better but i am certainly keeping my eyes/ears open.