Instant Gratification Is A Huge Part of Addiction « What Winners Do

Instant Gratification Is A Huge Part of Addiction

Posted on February 28, 2010

Our world today is based upon instant gratification. Taking into consideration all of the technology that allows us to get what we want right when we want it, it's really no wonder that we are trying to apply that standard to our emotional state.

Think of all the ways that people use drugs or alcohol pertaining to instant gratification. If you are having a stressful day...pop a pill and feel de-stressed. If you are feeling a little social anxiety or lack of confidence in a situation...have a few drinks and get some liquid courage.

By feeding these types of emotional needs with drugs or alcohol we are in a way giving ourselves a quick fix - instant gratification. We are not working on the actual problems but finding an easy way out of them. But since instant gratification in all other areas of life have now become the norm...how are we supposed to delay our need for instant gratification?

For someone who has entered into addiction recovery, life myself, we become aware of our search for instant gratification. We are now given the chance to start breaking down our bad beliefs about instant gratification.

Although we have come to the conclusion that we can't change the world around us, we do have the power to change ourselves. We need to start separating out our emotional gratification to ensure that we are not searching for the next quick fix to our needs.

Sounds easy right? But when you sit and think about how much of our emotional well being has been dependent on our world around us...it gets a little tricky. But you can deal with a little tricky, you can work with a little tricky.

I'm still trying to figure all of this out. Since I am no longer using drugs to alter my moods I have had to start developing coping skills. These don't always alter your moods but they begin to let you accept your emotional state and if necessary...ride it out. Riding out an unpleasant feeling is not something that I'm used to doing even now. It takes work.

This subject has been on my mind lately as I deal with my five year old son. I can see that he is used to nothing else but instant gratification and it kind of frightens me. He is not the exception, he is the norm.

I feel like our country is at a loss with how to deal with the growing addiction problems we are faced with. We are trying all kinds of ways to scare our children into not trying drugs. We show them what your life can turn out like, we talk about the health risks and all that. We show them the outcome of an addicts life. But what alternatives are we giving them?

Are we providing them with the life skills and the coping skills to thwart off their desire for instant gratification? No, as a society we are almost encouraging their need for instant gratification.

I'm not pretending to have any answers has to how to deal with it. I was just kind of pointing it out. I'm faced with this question almost everyday when it comes to dealing with my child. But I think that if we can figure out a way to change our children's need for emotional instant gratification then we are heading in the right direction.

Tagged as: addiction recovery, instant gratification Leave a comment

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bottlecappie
January 4th, 2008 - 16:49

Everything you wrote here really resonates with me. I have a 5 year old too, and though I have tried really hard to be the best parent I can be, I can see how she is “spoiled” in a lot of ways. I don’t have any answers either, but I know a lot of parents who are struggling with the same questions – even those who don’t have addiction issues.

I wish you the best of luck in cultivating a taste for delayed gratification in both your self and your child. I’m pretty sure it can be done, even if I’m not sure how to do it.

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George
January 9th, 2009 - 18:50

Same feeling here. I have a 7 year old girl who I believe is still spoiled despite many of the effort I have put in place. However, it is getting exceptionally and exponentially better now that she is 7 and 1/2 in comparison to when she is was 5 and 6. I think the age of 5 and 6 was the age of stubbornness more than anything else.
All I can advise is to follow as much as possible some of the fundamental principles in life such as first be patient then apply persistence and discipline in your efforts. It is important to evolve in a fluid motion so to say meaning don’t be rigid with yourself your wife and your children as you may break them (in spirits of course). What I observed is, and be very conscious of it, that children learn enormously from the behavior we display (many times unconsciously) around them so don’t be surprise to see some of your characteristics in them. And don’t be upset to see the ones you hate in them but work on correcting and/or avoiding their displays in front of them. What is gratifying though, about the experience of having to go through that abstinence/correctness is how self aware we become of who we are.

I hope it makes some sense .

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breakingfree
January 10th, 2010 - 09:07

I also suffer from instant gratification addiction. I am 57 years old and the awareness of my addiction has increased greatly since I was 38 years old when I stopped using alcohol and nicotine. Since then I’ve gained a greater clarity as to the origin of my use of chemicals to alter my consciousness and state of unhappiness, confusion, or self-dissatisfaction. I’ve discovered that the compulsive impulsive states started when I was a child with the attraction to sugar and candy to ‘coat’ away the pain states of childhood.
The sugar addiction was transformed into alcohol dependency.

The continued struggle is daily with the mind and heart in a struggle to gratify or not, either through food or sexual release or alcohol indulgence, even if in moderation.
The degrees of release from the addiction of instant gratification vary with the intention to be free of the attachment to the gratifying behaviour, and the attention which is given to stop the behaviours which continue and reinforce the thoughts, actions and behavoiur patterns which are compulsive, impulsive, and repetitive.
I believe that the freedom from this ‘third dimension density’ obsessiveness only occurs when I take my ‘self’ to living in the presence of my ‘fourth dimension spiritual’ reality. It’s only when I rise above and beyond my physical connectedness and my mental connectedness and go to my ‘soul space’ that I can be freed from the pull of the thoughts and feelings which surround ‘instant gratification. I have been successful with breaking my addictive behaviour patterns. I believe that the key is to increase our ‘self love’ and be role models to our children and as parents to provide substitutes which are fulfilling and nurturing for our children: namely ‘love’ and ‘attention’. These two aspects of parenting will be the most successful to offset the dependency on other addictive substances or repetitive behaviour patterns. This parenting also applies to us, as adults, parenting our inner childs and re-assuring our ‘innerchild’ that we are loved, lovable, and worthy of love.

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Whitney
January 13th, 2010 - 14:43

Yes, you wrote an excellent article about dealing with instant gratifcation issues. We need to find a centered content self versus constantly looking for it from the outside world. You put it so interestingly, that we do need to provide other options and coping skills and not just tell our children what not to do….Thank you , it was an eye opening article.

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Bobby
March 2nd, 2010 - 00:42

Thank you for your observations. You are absolutely right about instant gratification. With all the technological advances, instant gratification is at everyone’s fingertips. Our society has become so acclimated to the ability of acquiring anything almost instantaneously that waiting for anything has become a burden. This is very dangerous. Kids get instant gratification from video games and adults get instant gratification by always being connected to some sort of communications device. Along with the latest technology, we also need to develop new skills to stay sane.

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