I’m a Drug Addict Not a Journalist
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If you are very early in your recovery from drugs or alcohol you were probably given the advice to keep a journal. I know, I know, I felt exactly the same way. It just sounds pretty lame. Plus addicts are not the type of people that want to have any permanent record of the weird and deviate thoughts that go on in our addict brains. When I was told to keep a journal I pictured myself laying stomach down on my bed with my legs bent up at the knees, crossed at the ankles and swinging back and forth while I write: Dear Diary…
Since I truly want to do what the winners do just as much as you do, I decided to heed the advice. I went out and bought myself a little notebook which I call a journal not a diary. Journal sounds cooler, like I have something to say other than what my favorite color is. If you want to get a journal you feel special about go right ahead but you can also just use any old notebook.
I thought I would have a hard time thinking of something to write…was I ever wrong! Recording my thoughts in a journal is really a great tool for myself in my recovery. I had started when I was still in an institution going through detox. I wrote down exactly how it felt physically and mentally. For me, the point of doing that was so that I could never forget. I can never convince myself that I’m not really an addict or that I’m making it out to be more serious than it really was. I have it written in ink exactly what was going on and the fact that I honestly could not get myself to look into a mirror until I was there about 4 days because I was so disgusted with myself. People that don’t have a problem wouldn’t have those feelings.
I try to keep up with my journal daily. At first when I was completely lost in my sober life I wrote in that journal a few times a day. It kept me sane. Just like you feel better right after you speak at a narcotics anonymous or alcoholics anonymous meeting or when you get out of your therapists office, you feel better after you write your feelings down. It acts as a way to make sure you are not bottling your feelings up anymore.
Posts
April 4th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
[...] my teeth or washing my face before bed. Like I said, I usually just passed out. Then I usually write in my journal for a little while and then [...]
April 4th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
[...] myself and that’s not going to help me in any way. I can’t tell you how many pages of my journal have been devoted to this very topic. I was talking about this at a narcotics anonymous meeting and [...]
April 15th, 2007 at 11:11 am
[...] I truly meant it. I would literally become panic stricken and pace around. I spent a lot of time writing in my journal, reading and drawing. I didn’t know what else to do and I figured that these were safe [...]
January 19th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
[...] and are usually writing about recovery in some form or another whether it be blogging or keeping a recovery journal, they know what it is to stay in the day and they are basically trying to better [...]