Keeping Yourself Balanced in Addiction Recovery

January 28, 2010 — 5 Comments

I have a hard time keeping myself balanced. What does that even mean right? Well to me it means not going off like gangbusters (I can’t believe I just used the term gangbusters… when did I start talking like my grandmother?) in one direction leaving other parts of myself to rust up and die. A little over-dramatic? Maybe.

There was a time when my only goal in recovery was getting through the day without using. Happily, through time and a lot of work, I have built up skills that allow me to get through most days without ever thinking about my drug of choice.

Great. But what about all the other things that I’ve tried working on throughout my recovery. Why do I go balls out, start seeing results, then get kind of bored and let it fall to the wayside?

I feel like this is still me doing everything to excess, choking the life out of things and then leaving them to die. How can I keep myself balanced in addiction recovery?

My latest interest of body art, which I am lovingly calling Body Art by Erin, is all consuming. I’m thinking about it constantly, planning in my head, even dreaming about it at night. Fine. It’s good to be excited about new directions that life is taking you. BUT… I find that I’m ignoring some key areas of my life because of my new interest.

Why do I have such trouble with keeping myself balanced? Why am I going full speed ahead in one direction, so passionate about it, then all of a sudden… not so much.

I’m trying to avoid strangling the fun out of this new body art interest but it’s proving to be difficult to balance it into my life.

I KNOW what I need to do but I just can’t get myself to actually DO what I need to do. I need to get back to reading the author’s that really center me at night. I need to get back to the simple routines that get me through the day. I need to get back to focusing on these Twenty four hours and staying in the moment. I feel like my hard work is kind of slipping away at the moment.

But even as I’m sitting here writing I am reminding myself of the post I wrote about ebbs and flows in recovery. I’ve felt like this before, hung in there, and came out the other end.

If history has taught us anything (the history of Erin that is) it is that I love to spout off addiction recovery sayings. Now, what saying would I annoyingly come up with if this situation was someone else’s?

I would definitely start off by telling them that “this too shall pass”. I might follow that up with a simple “be here now” and then end the whole thing with a little “Easy does it… but do it”.

5 responses to Keeping Yourself Balanced in Addiction Recovery

  1. Your post hit home with me, I have had similar thoughts and feelings, I think but just termed a little differently. I often get that ‘all or nothing’ drive about projects and even people.

    Somehow, for me it is tangled up with either that lust for immediate and overwhelming gratification coupled with poor impulse control. Add a dash of ‘I want what I want, when I want it’ and there’s the recipe for my addictive thoughts getting control.

    I, too, work your solution of routine. Routine and discipline are two tools that help me curb my impulses and stay grounded in reality these days. Am I perfect at it?, Heck no, progress, not perfection.

  2. Hi Erin,
    you need to remind yourself

    this too shall pass; be here now; Easy does it

  3. hey btw I saw your body art gallery and I’d say all of them are great, my fav is Scary Skeleton Face Painting 😉 hey, do keep us posted on how your business is doing …

  4. I agree with the concept of routine and discipline in maintaining addiction recovery. Another simple solution is simply taking a walk and observing the world around me, and extroverting from the internal world that I am so fond of living in at times. Simply using the discipline of looking at trees, birds, cars, boats, (Whatever is out there) and avoiding looking inside my head is very therapuetic and balancing, at least for me.

  5. Someone once told me that “balance” was a setting on a stereo. I like the word “harmony”.

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