The post I recently did about learning to accept the things I cannot change got me thinking about a negative behavior that I was riddled with in active addiction…not facing problems head on.
The behavior of avoiding problematic situations is something that is very common with addicts. See, the key to successfully living in denial about all of your problems is to numb yourself into oblivion until you don’t think about them anymore. Simple right?
So what happens when you are no longer numbing away your problems with drugs or alcohol? Well, unless you want to continue living a miserable life that is completely based on denial and a disconnection from your soul you need to master the art of facing problems head on in recovery.
Now when I tell you that I never faced problems head on I really mean NEVER. Not willingly anyway. I would usually wait until something was at boiling point before taking it off the fire.
Get a bill in the mail and don’t have the money right away? Just throw the bill away. Another one will come that I won’t open. No, I’ll wait until I am being summonsed to court over the unpaid balance. Then and only then, after being court ordered to make payments, will I contact the company and realize that I should have just done this in the first place.
Because I am no longer effed up all the time, I feel negatively about myself when I do not face my problems head on. the beginning of my recovery I had tried to continue to avoid dealing with problematic situations but have thankfully realized that avoidance is no longer working for me.
This is not to say that I don’t find it difficult to face uncomfortable situations in life. I do. But since I had to deal with some lingering consequences from my addiction, I decided to make a promise to myself that I would no longer live in denial of my problems. What I have found is that I’m getting used to it.
I also now have the knowledge of what it feels like once a problem is taken care of and it’s a pretty good feeling. Way better than it feels to just not deal with things as they come up.
So I’m here to tell you to open that piece of mail that you’ve been avoiding and touch base with the people who are sending it to you. I’m telling you to start cleaning that room that you have been avoiding because it’s not going to clean itself just because you’re ignoring it. Open your bank statements and see where you are at financially, things aren’t going to be any better just because you don’t acknowledge them.
Once take this first step in facing your problems head on in recovery you will see that it feels good to be on top of your game. You will never want to go back to the way you felt before. Try it…you’ll like it.