Learning To Hang In There
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We’ve all seen the poster of the kitty hanging off the tree limb with the caption “Hang In There Baby”. But who would have thought that this little blurb could be the foundation of a healthy spiritual life?
We all have both highs and lows as our life sort of ebbs and flows through time. I guess what I’m realizing is that I need to make the most out of the highs in life so that when the lows come I am better prepared to hang in there.
We’re not always going to be feeling like sunshine and roses. That is one thing in life we can pretty much be certain about. What we can’t be certain about is how long each of these periods will last. It’s not like there is an egg timer you can set that will let you know that you are almost done with a low period in your life. You just gotta ride these things out and… you guessed it, hang in there.
Think about how it used to be. If you started to go through a challenging period in your life you would no doubt try to erase any negative feelings by numbing yourself up with your substance of choice. Fine. But little by little that thing you were doing to “make yourself feel better” ended up causing more problems in your life… so that’s not gonna work.
When I entered into recovery I was more than a little shocked to find that I was still experiencing low periods in life. I fell into the trap that many others in our situation fell into… the pink cloud. Once I realized that sobriety didn’t automatically equal happiness and ease of life I started to panic.
But I hung in there. I think about the low periods in my early recovery and I just am so thankful that circumstances never put me face to face with my drug of choice because I can’t whole heartedly say that I wouldn’t have used. I just shake my head now when I think about those times.
What began happening was that it really sunk into my brain that using to get me through difficult situations was not even an option for me anymore. But what now?
In my opinion, you really have to make the most of your time when you are experiencing a stretch of time in your life where things are looking good. You know those times right? You feel good, you have confidence, maybe you have a little more peace of mind, and you are just all around feeling pretty positive about life.
It’s in those times that you need to be searching for your spirituality and trying to understand how you got to this point, working on staying in the moment and just doing everything in your power to really be self aware.
Here’s why. At some point you will reach a low in your life. A time, much like the one I just went through where I was convinced that nice girls really do finish last, where you can briefly lose hope and start to question why you try to do the right thing when you are still going to feel like this.
If I had become complacent in my happiness I would have been putting myself more at risk for a relapse because I would not have acquired some of the skills that I have to hang in there during these down periods.
Gone (but not forgotten) are the days when my thoughts automatically think of drugs to make myself feel better. This didn’t just happen. It wasn’t because time heals or any of those things you make think. This is because I have worked really hard to change my thinking around. But it really does take constant work.
It’s ok to feel negative. It’s ok to not feel happy. It’s ok not to want to work out. It’s ok not to want to eat right. It’s ok to say “what the use”. It’s not ok to just give up when you have these feelings.
This is the time when you need to really lean on all of the spirituality and self awareness that you were able to gain while you were going through a higher time in life. This is what it’s for. It’s so that you can hang in there until this passes. Good luck.
Posts
May 30th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
[...] has a good post up right now about the ebbs and flows of recovery (and life in general). She makes a great point about doing the work we need to do when [...]
June 4th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Hello Erin,
Thank you so much for this haven you have created for us all, I have found gold!!!! I felt so alone, you have created a place where everyone undertands and offers nothing but kindness and advice.
Thank you also for your advice to me, you will never know how much this means to me, as I have mentioned I have no family apart from my incredible son Jason. It is “us against the world” like the Westlife song title, we do not have anyone else. This is the fourth time I have been through withdrawals, I have never had them this badly. THANK YOU, you are an angel:o)
Regards and the best of luck with your problems.
Sandy.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Hi Jossalyn,
I was on Effexor 500mg a day, withdrawal from them (cold turkey) after being on them for eight years, was not too bad, the only withdrawal symptoms I had were sweating and a buzz saw in my head, it did not last for more than two weeks. THE SIDE EFFECTS ARE DANGEROUS I landed up in hospital ICU to be exact, my liver was damaged because of Effexor. Thank Heavens the damage was not permanent, I was in hospital for three weeks. My view, do not go onto anti-depressants sort out the problem that is causing depression. That is just my opinion, the way I am going to do things from now on. My personal view is that anti-depressants do not help. I have been on and off different ones for fifteen years. This is just my five cents worth. Good luck, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Sandy.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Hi Nettie! When I read your post I cried, nobody has ever been so kind, THANK YOU!!!! You are so sweet to me, thank you for caring about my miserable existance, the only one who cares is my son Jason, he stands by me all the time and I feel so guilty because he sacrifices so much for me, I am not worth it. He is a wonderful human being, the most incredible son, Jason has put up with so much God Bless him.
I cannot get Bendadryl in this country (South Africa) it has been discontinued here. Something positive though, I have found something that stops my brain from “MISFIRING” LOL or the “brain shivers” is something I found in my medicine chest called Dixarit, they were given to me by my Pharmacist a loooooong time ago. They also help a LOT for the sweats, one twice daily. I decided seeing no medical help was available, I would help myself. The insert on the net says they are for “hot flashes” but they do minimise the “brain shivers” they happen very seldom and so does the sweating. I hope you can find some, although they may have another name overseas. I hope this helps anybody who reads this post. Also taking two “EXTRA STRENGTH DISPRIN” twice daily helps the “brain shivers” as well as the “inverse headaches” someone else mentioned. Id did not sleep for more than thirty hours, last night I fell asleep in the chair while watching TV for the first time in my life LOL!!! Jason woke me up and I went to bed, I have slept for about twenty hours, only waking up to go to the bathroom!!!!! As for the terrible tingling and pins & needles in my hands, I wash then in very hot water when I cannot stand it anymore and then apply hand cream. It does help for a few hours.
Take care Nettie, you too are in my prayers, thank you for caring about me.
Take care Honey.
Sandy.
June 7th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Out of every painful event in my sober life has come a greater ability to live life happily. That even includes loosing my twin boys. Thank you for your post.