Archives For life skills

Do I Care What You Think?

August 18, 2011 — 7 Comments

I know it may be kind of silly but I am wondering for how many of you your addiction began as a way of fitting in or being socially accepted by peers. I know this was my experience. I wanted to be like my older cousins. Their opinions and behaviors had great influence over me.

That fateful beginning was like a snowflake that rolled, and rolled, and rolled into an enormous ball of snow and ice shards, breaking everything in its path; besieging me and freezing up any goals or aspirations I had for my life.

I am not blaming my peers or anyone else. I took the beer, I put it up to my lips, and I swallowed it down. Continue Reading…

I have been going on for a couple of posts about my inability to talk about some stuff that has really been bothering me. Well, it is with a huge sigh of relief that I tell you that I was finally able to open up about these issues (the details of which I won’t bore you with). I should have done it sooner.

I still had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the conversation but once I was in it… I was so glad I was. Things are not magically fixed but I feel a hell of a lot better now that I’ve gotten a few things off my chest. Funny how that works huh? Continue Reading…

Life is a series of ups and downs, ebbs and flows. There are many times in our lives when we notice that a significant amount of time has passed with no real calamities. But then…

There are those times in our lives when it seems that nothing goes right. From the moment our feet hit the floor in the morning until our head hits the pillow at night it seems that everything that could go wrong does.

It seems that these are the very times that we used to try to avoid in active addiction with the use of drugs and alcohol. So what now? Continue Reading…

Our choices in life, good or bad, are just that… ours. Because of that, we need to take responsibility for our choices. What may seem like a poor choice to one person may make complete sense to another. None of us know exactly how life is going to play out so all we can do is make choices in life that are based on self honesty.

I talked recently about staying honest with myself and how for a long time I had been just going with the flow to avoid hurting anyone close to me. Thankfully I realized that no one can go on like that forever. It was a tough and painful lesson to learn but I’m so fortunate to have learned it. Continue Reading…

There was a time when my way of making myself feel better involved numbing myself… usually into oblivion. That was pretty much my go to answer for every situation that I encountered that made me feel… well just feel.

It’s been a long time since I have used drugs to change the way I was feeling, 2 years this coming Monday as a matter of fact. In this time, I have still had all the same things that life throws at you, I’ve just avoided using to change the way I feel. But when you are having feels of doubt, feelings of pain, anger, sadness… what do you do to make yourself feel better? Continue Reading…

Many, many times since entering into addiction recovery and starting this blog you have heard me say that my recovery ebbs and flows. I’m either on point, full steam ahead or I’m just barely hanging in there… trying to survive.

Lately I felt that I have been neither of those two scenarios. I have actually been dead center or I guess you could say… centered.

In my last post I talked about finding balance in addiction recovery. This has been an area that has caused me the most problems in life. I have a hard time finding the balance in life.

I understand that everyone has ups and downs in life, it’s unavoidable. But I think that my inability to find any sort of balance was a huge part of those ups and downs.

I am now committed to finding my center in addiction recovery and my entire life. I don’t want to burn myself out so often and have to wait around while my fire builds back up for something else.

I’m determined.

So I’ve talked, almost a sickening amount, about how active addiction keeps us from developing life skills. But what I really haven’t discussed is how being in addiction recovery makes building up life skills possible.

There I am driving down the road. I should be concentrating on, oh I don’t know… driving. But I’m not. I’m thinking about what it would take for my husband, my son and myself to be able to move out of where we live now. This train of thought somehow turned into setting goals for myself and then… Boom. It hit me, an epiphany. Continue Reading…

From time to time we all struggle right? So what am I struggling with at the moment? Patience. Actually a lack of patience better describes it.

There are times when I go along feeling pretty centered. Unshakable even. Right now? Not so much. I’m flying off the handle more often than I would like.

So how do you deal with a lack of patience? No really, I’m asking. So far… I’m not dealing so well. I find myself shaking my head a lot and saying “I can’t, I just fucking can’t”. Well that’s no way to deal right.

But then you know, you think of some of the things that you’ve learned in recovery. Usually about this time a nice recovery catch phrase fits nicely. Something like… “this too shall pass”. You just kind of hang on and ride it out.

So that’s where I am at right now… just trying to hang on and ride it out. I’ll let you know how that works out for me 🙂

Early in recovery I learned that is very important to handle things as they come up. What does this mean? It means not putting off any problem just because I feel like I can’t deal with it at the moment. It means facing problems head on. It means not saying, I’ll do it tomorrow… cause we all know that aint happening :).

Somehow I let this practice slip to the wayside for a while. The result? I felt overwhelmed with problems and situations that I had left unaddressed. What does this overwhelmed feeling lead to? It leads to a sense of dread over the future. Things left unaddressed don’t just go away. Small problems get bigger and bigger until they explode. Then you’re left to pick up the pieces. Not a great way to live. Continue Reading…