Anyone who has gone through very early recovery can tell you that at first everything seems like it will just fall into place. You have stopped your physical addiction and have been working on your mental addiction. You are walking around in your pink cloud and life is good. And then…
Well, and then you realize that things aren’t just going to get better on their own. You have not miraculously become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Are you ready to do something about that?
The reason I’m brining up this subject (once again) is because I have a sibling that in late December of 2007 entered into addiction recovery. I have had to sit back and watch my addict family member go through all of the difficulties that early recovery brings.
I’ve seen the highs and I’ve seen the lows and I can empathize with both. Recently I have noticed that although he has stopped using drugs, he still has some of the negative behaviors that come along with a full blown addiction.
I know first hand that modifying bad behaviors can be a difficult thing to do. But no matter how difficult it is, it is a necessary change that must be made in order to start building your self confidence back up and to put the building blocks in place for a successful recovery.
I know that I struggled with some lingering consequences of my addiction which had me thinking at some points that change was just not possible for me.
All I can say is that I kept trying to do the right thing each and every day and finally my hard work paid off and I was relieved of some of my more crippling bad behaviors.
I guess I’m just getting frustrated with my brother. I don’t know if he understands how self absorbed and selfish he can come off to other people as. That behavior is not something that goes away. You need to identify it and make a conscious effort to change it. That’s the only way that these things are corrected.
But then I ask myself, am I being too hard on him? Is it too soon? Will he eventually work this stuff out on his own? I don’t know. I don’t think it would have done me any good to have someone point out my faults in the beginning. I knew what they were, I just didn’t know how to change them right away.
I guess what I can do is this…let him know when he pisses me off. By doing this I’m not saying to him hey you need to hurry up and change this, this and this about yourself but at least I will be speaking up and drawing attention to some of his more negative behaviors.
I must say that I really have to give credit to all of the people out there that have gone through the ordeal of having an addict/recovering addict in their lives. I have dealt with addiction first hand which was difficult but having to sit by and watch a loved one is heart wrenching.