I know it may be kind of silly but I am wondering for how many of you your addiction began as a way of fitting in or being socially accepted by peers. I know this was my experience. I wanted to be like my older cousins. Their opinions and behaviors had great influence over me.
That fateful beginning was like a snowflake that rolled, and rolled, and rolled into an enormous ball of snow and ice shards, breaking everything in its path; besieging me and freezing up any goals or aspirations I had for my life.
I am not blaming my peers or anyone else. I took the beer, I put it up to my lips, and I swallowed it down. No one made me do it. I did it. I ask myself why was it so important to be accepted that I would do something which I obviously knew was wrong. I know I felt a thrill engaging in this bad behavior. I also felt like wow! I can get in with the big kids.
Part of me wonders if I still operate under these pretenses. Is it just human nature? Do I still care very much what my peers think? Would I act in ways that are detrimental to my life just to be accepted? Would I begin drinking again?
I am a grown woman now, but I would be lying to myself if I didn