How Do You Make Yourself Feel Better
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Since we are trying to avoid the use of mood altering substances as our first defense against negative feelings, it leaves us with the question “How do you make yourself feel better?”.
You know what I mean right? Those times in life when you feel lost, vulnerable, worthless, sad, hopeless…and all those other crappy feelings that I left out. How do you turn your feelings around and make yourself feel better without reaching for that instant fix?
The truth is there are a lot of ways to make yourself feel better without resorting to using drugs but the thing that we need to accept is that when feelings are concerned…there is no such thing as instant gratification.
It is a very hard thing to accept that sometimes you are just going to have bad feelings. I’m not talking like ouch I stubbed my toe, this is a bad feeling. I’m talking about…”oh my god, what am I doing with my life”, “why do I feel so shitty all the time?”, “why does nothing go my way”, “why can’t I help myself?”…those type of feelings.
I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that from time to time everyone goes through some slumps in life. The key to a successful and peaceful life is your ability to deal with these times as they happen.
Before? Crush up a pill, lay out a line, and drift away into oblivion. Feel “at peace” for a few hours and then be further down in my pit of despair than I was before I started. Ok…that doesn’t work.
Now? I go about things in a much different way. I realize that I am feeling negatively. I panic for a few minutes because I dread the thought that I have to fight my way out of a slump. I get a hold of myself and start thinking about what it is I can start doing today that will have me feeling better more quickly.
I try to avoid, at all costs, my urge to feed into my negative feelings. THIS IS HARD. I have to start by telling myself that I need to think more positively about my life right now. I have to focus on the good instead of the bad. I have to put this thinking into motion even though it goes against every fiber of my being at the time.
For me, doing something productive usually makes me feel a little better about things. This is not as easy as it seems. Do you think when I feel like my life is in shambles I really want to clean the toilet? No. But I just FORCE myself to do it anyway. Then when I realize that cleaning the toilet only took me about 3 minutes to do, I may decide to clean the sink. Wow, the sink and the toilet, I just about cleaned the whole bathroom. I did something productive that I can feel good about. It certainly isn’t going to make me feel any worse than I already do.
I’m not saying that cleaning your toilet will brighten your day. All I’m saying is that in life you need to figure out what is going to make you have a positive feeling (why cleaning the toilet or the sink has become my thing in life…I have no idea).
Because doing even the smallest of things that give you a slightly positive feeling is at least a start in the right direction. It’s better than sitting there and thinking of all the things that you aren’t doing and then wondering what the eff is wrong with you that you can’t even do these things in life when everyone else in the world seems to be able to do this stuff. Come on, you’ve been there.
Here is the most important part of how I make myself feel better. At the end of the day, while I’m lying in bed feeling defeated from the long day of feeling negative I make sure that I tell myself that today is over. No matter what went on, how horrible and sad I feel because of it…it’s over. Today doesn’t dictate what tomorrow will be like. Tomorrow is a new day that could be filled with positive feelings.
Then when I wake up the next morning still feeling shitty I start all over with trying to change my thought to become more positive, doing things that give me a positive feeling, etc. If that doesn’t work and I still find myself going to bed at night with negative feelings I remind myself once again that today is over. Tomorrow is a new day.
Sooner or later I wake up and actually feel positive. See all of this doesn’t really change the fact that I am feeling negative but it somehow gets me through and reminds me that I will feel better. It just usually takes some time.
Posts
March 5th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Erin, this is a fantastic post. Thanks for lifting my spirits.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Im just taking a stab in the dark here, but I have been free of pills just 3 days now and i have managed to find suboxone to get me thru these past 3 days. I do bartend and I find all things easier than most, and Im gonna make this work, but I am still full of questions of suboxone and I will need a little help to get thru this next week of work. I did appreciate the article above, but for a man with no medical insurance. Im feeling a little scared in the days to come. Any suggestions without calling me a dumbass etc.. would be greatly appreciated. Im aware of my situation and what I have procreated.
March 6th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Josh - I’m the last person in the world that would ever judge you…I mean, there is a reason I have this site right?
I experienced Oxycontin withdrawal without using things like Suboxone or Methadone…it can be done.
You need support and lots of it in the beginning. Willpower is not going to get you through early recovery.
Here is another piece of advice for you…go back and read my very early blog posts. It has been about a year since I started this site and I have gone through just about every situation that someone in early recovery can go through. Maybe there is something in my story that will benefit you.
So please feel free to keep in touch with me and ask for help whenever you need it…even though it is really hard to do. JUST DO IT!
March 8th, 2008 at 5:19 am
I quit a pill habit costing $40 to $100 per day. It stared with back pain. My preference was for perks, second, dillys. I quit my job, husband, my way of life and relocated 200 miles from my hometown in the middle of a sweltering August. Day one, could not lift my head. Spent about a week in and out of bed, sleeping. Took me two weeks to get the sickness out my system. That was in 2005. i didn’t go on methadone, I still take mass quantites of tylenol 1’s otherwise I get feeling run down and sick. My husband wasn’t so lucky, he went on to have to use 6 dilly 8s in order to feel normal. When that sort of supply ran out he turned to shooting heroin. Today he is on methadone and believe me you sure don’t want to EVER run out of that! To all of you trying to quit using pills I know for a fact you can do it. Quit it already! Its easier than you think especially once you are past day 2.
March 8th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I appreciate what Jared is getting at, but just like active depression, addiction is not something that most people can just willpower their way out of. It takes thinking things through, a plan to get through the tough early stages and most of all, support. Then, as you move further into recovery, you realize that your are building a whole new life. I got through it all with the help of my family, friends, Church and the Celebrate Recovery group I became a part of.
It can be done alone, without help. But why would a person want to do it that way when so many options are out there??
Josh, don’t be afraid. I pray that God will give you everything you need to get through your recovery.
Erin, great post as usual!
March 10th, 2008 at 10:20 am
See, it’s an evil myth that people believe, that we’re SUPPOSED to feel good all the time. I really think we’re not. Why should we feel good when so many people don’t?
So become a positive force in the universe, and as Ann Landers used to say, Quit ‘cher bellyaching.
And sure, clean up around you. That always feels good. Great post.
March 11th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Great post.
March 15th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
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