Every so often I feel myself coming undone. Not in a severe way where I am contemplating using again, but in a more subtle way like my edges are just starting to unravel.
I guess my fear of going back to my old ways keeps me on the look out for these littlest changes in myself. More times than not, when I notice this “undone” feeling I eventually come to the conclusion that my day to day routines have been disrupted in some way. I guess sometimes I just forget the importance of a routine.
In a post that The Discovering Alcoholic wrote called An Anchor to Keep from Drifting, he talked about the different things that he does while on the road that anchor him and keep him from drifting away from his recovery.
Boom! Just like that I realized that I had been letting some of the routines that I hold near and dear fall to the wayside lately. No wonder I’m feeling undone… I am.
It doesn’t always take traveling or experiencing a highly emotional event to throw you off course. It can happen in your day to day life, right under your nose.
Like most of us, I am a creature of habit. When I don’t fill my life with positive habits… negative ones can creep right in. That scares the hell out of me and usually has me on the look out for this type of situation.
Lately though, I’ve been kind of caught up in a professional venture. I’ve been focusing a lot of my time and engergy into one particular area and I seem to have been neglecting some other areas. Some of which have a very profound effect on my peace of mind and spirituality.
The very fact that I notice these little slips shows that I am far better off than I have ever been in my life. But having said that… I gotta get back on track with my routines. Somehow these small routines are my peace of mind and spirituality.
I love Deepak Chopra books and reading them made me feel at ease, why all of a sudden am I not reading them anymore? Walking everyday had me feeling good about myself, why did I just stop? Making sure my living room was neat each night before I went to bed made my home a great place to wake up to in the morning (5 year old kid… need I say more?), so why has that not been a priority for me anymore?
As we know, acknowleging something isn’t going to make it change right? You actually have to do something about it. So I guess this is where I start getting back on track. If it was someone else I would say “hey, you’re human. You slipped. You recognize that now, so just start to do something about it”. So I guess that’s the advice I will try to follow.