Weird question I guess but in my opinion there is nothing more important to someone’s recovery than being self aware.
Think of how it used to be. You went through life numbing out every inkling of self awareness so that you wouldn’t have to face your true thoughts and feelings.
I think that overcoming that need to block out your true thoughts and feelings sums up what recovery is all about. So with that said… are you self aware?
My answer is I’m working on it. I don’t think that self awareness is something that you can set and forget. It’s the type of thing that you constantly need to work on.
I guess it follows along the same lines as spirituality in recovery. You don’t just become spiritual and there you stay. You pretty much search out your spirituality and it is the act of searching that makes you spiritual.
Self awareness in recovery begins very early on when we allow ourselves to begin feeling and identifying feelings again. It’s often referred to as “thawing out”. What a tough phase of recovery that can be. Our whole addiction became based on us not feeling any of those feelings and then boom… they’re back.
Once those feelings and thoughts are allowed to be felt, they can then be examined. It is through that examination that we begin to see some patters of behavior that are causing us to feel the way we do. It’s at that point that we begin to work on modifying bad behaviors.
I have gone through both of these phases of self awareness. It wasn’t an easy progression but it was a natural progression. I didn’t read a book that told me that this was what needed to be done… I just naturally flowed in that direction.
Being honest with myself is not always easy but it is imperative to my recovery. Are you doing all that you can be doing? Are you being the best person that you can be? Are you being honest about how you are feeling? These are few of the questions that run through my mind from time to time.
The fact that those thoughts pass through my mind, regardless of what my answer to them may be at the moment, let’s me know that I am working my way towards being self aware. It’s a good place to be.