Trying To Remember I Have Human Imperfection

November 26, 2009 — 4 Comments

Sometimes in life we don’t handle situations in the best way possible. Sure, we may work on handling things as they come but that doesn’t ensure that how we handle things is always going to be the right way.

I have made a particularly big mess of things in my life lately. While I think it’s important for people to practice taking responsibility for their choices, as difficult as that may be, I think it is also very important to remember that none of us are perfect and if in hind site you see that you haven’t handled a situation in the best possible way… you need to be forgiving with yourself.

I’m feeling guilt over how a situation worked out in my life and I’m really trying to deal with that guilt before it turns into shame. We all know that shame for a recovering addict can be detrimental to their sobriety. I can’t let that happen.

I’m trying to remind myself that I’m not a bad person. I usually put everyone’s happiness ahead of my own… which, as it turns out, is a very bad idea. You can’t go on like that forever and if you’re not careful you may begin to resent those people that you have put above yourself. That is through no fault of their own of course. It just seems to be the way it goes.

So while I’m not at all happy about the way that I’ve handled some current situations in my life… it’s the way that I handled them and there is nothing that will change that. I just need to remember that I am a good person. I make mistakes just like everyone else. If I’m lucky I will learn something from my most recent mistakes.

Life can be messy sometimes. This is one of those times for me. My daily goals are to keep talking, don’t beat myself up, and don’t let this feeling of guilt go until it turns into shame. I don’t handle things perfectly because I’m not perfect, no one is.

4 responses to Trying To Remember I Have Human Imperfection

  1. You know that adage “When you know better you do better.” It brings great perspective to the searching soul.

  2. Ya know its nearly never too late to apologize and explain yourself to those who matter. Deal with the guilt and recognize how it affected other people.

    The people that truly matter in your life may forgive you.

    Healing can only start with you.

  3. When I am in a situation like this, it helps to get grounded in the present, so when the voices of self hate start to arise, stop and say to yourself “What is life asking of me in this moment?” This has been a great recovery tool for me. May it be of benefit to you.

  4. One should remember that in order to forgive yourself, one should apologize for the hurt they might have caused to another. If the other person does not want to forgive and wants to carry around a grudge or one of those chips on their shoulder, you should then still forgive yourself with a clear conscience. Having admitted to the other that you are sorry, and having tried to explain yourself, you have every right to continue on with your life with your head held high.
    My problem is that the other person fails to admit the hurt and wrong they caused me. Should I forgive them for not admitting their actions and not apologizing for it. It is hard to move on and I frankly cannot with them because they don’t care enough about me to preserve the relationship. Speaking of my children who have stolen tens of thousands from me when made POA for a short time, and then writing a judge making me out to be crazy and dangerous when I am not. They wanted me admitted to a psych hospital, while POA, so they could then sell my house? HOw can I trust the two children I have who both were involved in this. Where does human imperfections come to play here? I have been struggling with this for more than ten years, having not seen them for that time or my grandchildren. It looks like it is pretty hopeless to ever have a relationship with them since I cannot trust them. With neuropathy in my feet and the side effects of my medications I just cannot sort this out. Anyone know who I can talk with to get some resolution to either just go on without them, which saddens me a great deal, or try to talk with them and be abused, as my son has done recently. I tried to be the perfect mother but apparently failed them both.

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