Sometimes in life we don’t handle situations in the best way possible. Sure, we may work on handling things as they come but that doesn’t ensure that how we handle things is always going to be the right way.
I have made a particularly big mess of things in my life lately. While I think it’s important for people to practice taking responsibility for their choices, as difficult as that may be, I think it is also very important to remember that none of us are perfect and if in hind site you see that you haven’t handled a situation in the best possible way… you need to be forgiving with yourself.
I’m feeling guilt over how a situation worked out in my life and I’m really trying to deal with that guilt before it turns into shame. We all know that shame for a recovering addict can be detrimental to their sobriety. I can’t let that happen.
I’m trying to remind myself that I’m not a bad person. I usually put everyone’s happiness ahead of my own… which, as it turns out, is a very bad idea. You can’t go on like that forever and if you’re not careful you may begin to resent those people that you have put above yourself. That is through no fault of their own of course. It just seems to be the way it goes.
So while I’m not at all happy about the way that I’ve handled some current situations in my life… it’s the way that I handled them and there is nothing that will change that. I just need to remember that I am a good person. I make mistakes just like everyone else. If I’m lucky I will learn something from my most recent mistakes.
Life can be messy sometimes. This is one of those times for me. My daily goals are to keep talking, don’t beat myself up, and don’t let this feeling of guilt go until it turns into shame. I don’t handle things perfectly because I’m not perfect, no one is.