Trying to White Knuckle it

April 9, 2010 — 3 Comments

Since I am trying to get used to being a more open and honest person I decided to join a few online groups. I have been making posts and replying to other peoples posts. What I am finding kind of shocking is the amount of people out there who are staying clean by white knuckling it.

If I left it up to my willpower alone I don’t think that I would be very successful in my recovery from addiction. One of the hardest things to do is change your behaviors and your way of thinking but it is also the most important. Addictive thinking doesn’t just go away because you stop using a drug. I can tell you that first hand.

I have talked to a lot of people who had tried recovery on their own, with no support…it didn’t work. It may have seemed like it was working for a while but then inevitably they went back to using drugs or drinking. I think the reason is that quiting the actual substance that you are using, while hard, is not impossible by yourself. It is the staying off of the substance that is the tricky part.

When I wrote up my story on this site it really showed how many times I had started and stopped different substances. It was a behavior that I repeated over and over again for about 15 years. I would get myself straightened out and on the right path and then just like that I would be spiraling back down towards drug addiction again.

This time is different. I decided not to white knuckle it but rather take the advice of the winners in recovery. I am doing what the winners do and so far I am pretty successful at it. There are others out there that have a little more experience than I do and this time I am willing to use their experience as a tool in my own recovery.

3 responses to Trying to White Knuckle it

  1. It has always been easier for me to learn through the actions and comments of others. As I discover more about myself and my recovery, I am more willing to implement these lessons. It may be a character flaw that I have a problem discerning the nature and origin of many of my own actions, but it matters not as long as I am willing to learn from others and not become judgemental. I have learned just as much from people who have a few hours of sobriety as I have from those with thirty.

    The Discovering Alcoholic

  2. Charles Hadden March 24, 2008 at 9:28 am

    I went cold turkey about 2.5 weeks ago. Things are getting better. Though I felt better before I acted worse. It took total control of me and I started raging uncontrollably. The Dr. said it was my fault and threw me out! They announced that in Colorado Springs suicide is 2nd highest in the nation. I wonder why! They hand out the psychotropics like candy here. I don’t want to tick anyone off, but I adjusted my believing on “CERTAIN” addictions. Mainly Alcoholism. Though it is a problem, most of it is a convenient excuse society has given us so that we can drink without guilt! It’s not an issue of being able to control it. There is nothing there to control. That is once the initial 1 to 3 day detox. Now if I can get rid of the tumors, loss of hair, gut and itching without taking my skin off with a knife.

  3. That is so awesome. I have been sober off and on for ten years and finally decided to do the same thing. You got listen to the ones that know how to work a recovery program and have some sobriety under their belt. You are one of these people for me. I now have almost two years clean and sober. I have a precious baby boy that has sober mom and I plan on keeping it that way but taking care of myself everyday.

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