Nice Girls Do Finish Last

February 13, 2010 — 7 Comments

I pride myself on being a morel and honest person who does not steal or cheat to get ahead in life. I live day to day thinking that my honest way of life will somehow be rewarded in time.

Most days this is very easy to swallow but sometimes I am overwhelmed with frustration and can’t shake the feeling that nice girls really do finish last.

We all probably know one or two people in life that always have a some kind of scam going that puts them ahead. Whether they stole a computer from work or they fudged some numbers and got paid a little more than they should… they always seem to be getting things without having to work for them.

I know that karma isn’t as simple as doing something good and having something good happen to you (you know, like on My Name Is Earl) but sometimes I feel like the only thing that I get for things like letting the cashier know that she didn’t charge me for an item is… a bigger bill.

I can already hear you guys telling me that first off I shouldn’t be concerned with what others in life have no matter how they got it and that my reward for doing good deeds and being honest is peace of mind and the knowledge that I’m an honest person.

Most of the time I am there with you. I would say about 96% of the time I agree but sometimes I just get fed up. I guess this was one of those times.

But ya know what? Just getting these thoughts outside my head and being able to examine them have put me a little more at ease.

So what if I don’t have the easiest financial situation in the world… a lot of people don’t. So what if I don’t have the living situation of my dreams… a lot of people don’t. It doesn’t mean that I should compromise my beliefs to get ahead in life right?

You know, I secretly hope that because of all the hard situations I’ve had to deal with in my young adult life and because of the way that I’ve dealt with them that when I get older the cosmos will somehow reward me by making my senior life a breeze.

I’m not saying in any way that I don’t have a good life. I do. I have a loving family, a great husband and a child that I adore. I am no longer using drugs to “feel good” and I have long periods of time when my mind is at peace. When you really get down to it… what else do you need right?

Thanks for listening.

7 responses to Nice Girls Do Finish Last

  1. Can’t Go A Day Without Reading I like that, if I can read and retain what I read, it means the wheels aren’t turning and the tapes aren’t playing in my head. It’s my most reliable self checker if I don’t just get lost in books.

  2. Hi,
    since I am in the initial periods of my recovery from drugs n drinking, I am so so enjoying the peace of mind that comes from not ripping of anyone or actually paying a bigger bill to the cashier and more meaningful relations at home. Cos when I remember about my active addiction, the thing I missed most actually about 96% of the time was the peace of mind that comes from these things, it was hell and I couldn’t live with my self !!
    But I guess when one is in recovery and clean for a long time like you are, simply “not using drugs” won’t feel so special anymore n then you are bound to feel frustrated or overwhelmed for short periods but I am glad you still cherish your family and peace of mind without drugs, I’d like to cherish that forever as well.

  3. “Well I ain’t no saint and I sure as hell ain’t no savior. Every other Christmas I would practice good behavior.”

    Like you I try and do right. And like you I realize that’s it’s certainly not a formula for making material progress. When my head is screwed on right, I do what I do for me. Not because I think someone may be watching. Not because I hope to reap some reward. I’ve just come to realize that working hard and being honest are their own rewards. And much more than 96% of the time I feel like a fool for making the right choices. To do less is to die drunk though, at least in my case. It’s all or nothing for me.

  4. I think what you’re talking about is obedience to the unenforceable laws–what you do when nobody’s looking. If I don’t do the right thing, I know it and beat myself up over it. That leads me to feeling like a second-class citizen, and I start the downward spiral.

    Self worth isn’t about much money or things you have, or your job or the house you live in. It’s doing the “right” thing because you know you should. A real sign of spiritual growth is the ability to obey unenforceable laws.

  5. Interesting post.. It is truly difficult being nice, since we all would naturally expect good rewards in return. If this element of expectation can be removed.. things will be lot easier I guess…


  6. I was drawn to this post when I searched Google wondering why good girls finish last? I ask myself that same question. One thing I would like to say about your post is when you said that you told the cashier she did not charge you for an item and yet all you get in the end…is a bigger bill. Although I do find that humorous, it really isn’t. The fact remains that every good deed do “get noticed” and even though you didn’t “get” anything from being honest other than a bigger bill…you set an example to this cashier and maybe anyone around you who might have been paying attention. Your reward for honesty, could possibly be a young child listening, while he had a stolen candy bar in his pocket, and went back to the shelf and put it back and did not decide to steal. If you only knew how any lives you have changed for the better…I bet you would feel more “rewarded” on the inside, other than looking for someone who pats you on the back and literally praises your good deeds. I know, I know…everyone needs to know they are doing the right thing and be noticed for that. That is not the way our world works all the time. So from that, you should always hold on to your morals, and never let them go for any reason, because being a good person is not a “bad” thing. I know you know this already, so i just want to “pat you on the back” and say thank you for paying for alerting the cashier she did not charge you. You are a wonderful person for that. Take care!

  7. The bottom line is the fact that you have to live with the decisons thta you make as well as your conscience. Being “nice” is a rapidly declining asset in this world. You should consider yourself lucky to keep this midset

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