I pride myself on being a morel and honest person who does not steal or cheat to get ahead in life. I live day to day thinking that my honest way of life will somehow be rewarded in time.
Most days this is very easy to swallow but sometimes I am overwhelmed with frustration and can’t shake the feeling that nice girls really do finish last.
We all probably know one or two people in life that always have a some kind of scam going that puts them ahead. Whether they stole a computer from work or they fudged some numbers and got paid a little more than they should… they always seem to be getting things without having to work for them.
I know that karma isn’t as simple as doing something good and having something good happen to you (you know, like on My Name Is Earl) but sometimes I feel like the only thing that I get for things like letting the cashier know that she didn’t charge me for an item is… a bigger bill.
I can already hear you guys telling me that first off I shouldn’t be concerned with what others in life have no matter how they got it and that my reward for doing good deeds and being honest is peace of mind and the knowledge that I’m an honest person.
Most of the time I am there with you. I would say about 96% of the time I agree but sometimes I just get fed up. I guess this was one of those times.
But ya know what? Just getting these thoughts outside my head and being able to examine them have put me a little more at ease.
So what if I don’t have the easiest financial situation in the world… a lot of people don’t. So what if I don’t have the living situation of my dreams… a lot of people don’t. It doesn’t mean that I should compromise my beliefs to get ahead in life right?
You know, I secretly hope that because of all the hard situations I’ve had to deal with in my young adult life and because of the way that I’ve dealt with them that when I get older the cosmos will somehow reward me by making my senior life a breeze.
I’m not saying in any way that I don’t have a good life. I do. I have a loving family, a great husband and a child that I adore. I am no longer using drugs to “feel good” and I have long periods of time when my mind is at peace. When you really get down to it… what else do you need right?
Thanks for listening.